The Ulman Cancer Fund For Young Adults Re-Launches Guidebook For Young Adults Facing Cancer

Baltimore, MD: The Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults (UCF) will be celebrating the release of their updated guidebook – No Way, It Can’t Be: A Guidebook for Young Adults Facing Cancer – at a gathering on Monday, March 2, 2015 at 3 p.m.

Doug Ulman and his mother, Diana Ulman, wrote this guidebook as a resource for young adults dealing with cancer, from the initial diagnosis through long-term survivorship.

At Monday’s event, Diana will present the new guidebook to social workers, nurses, and other medical professionals from local hospitals and cancer centers with whom UCF works.

UCF Founder and co-author, Doug Ulman shared,

“Finding out I had cancer at age 19 changed the course of my life. Immediately thrown into a world of challenges to overcome, I found myself struggling to find information and support programs that could help me navigate having cancer as a young adult. Born out of frustration and a real need to support other young adults facing cancer, my mother Diana and I wrote this guidebook in 1997 and it has changed lives. We’re excited to be re-launching the new guidebook in the community.”

To date, over 10,000 copies of No Way have been distributed to patients and families in all 50 states.

President and CEO, Brock Yetso stated,

“We are excited to share the new guidebook in our community and beyond. No Way, It Can’t Be! offers new and improved resources, information and perspectives for young adults and their families and friends. We hope that our local and national partners will embrace the new guidebook and continue offering it as a tool for the young adults they serve.”

No Way, It Can’t Be! is slated for nationwide distribution. A copy of the guidebook is available for download as a PDF on the UCF website (https://ulmanfoundation.org/gethelp-cancer-resource-directory/).

About Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults:

The Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults, founded in 1997, is the national leader in providing specialized support for young adults affected by cancer. With nearly 70,000 young adults diagnosed every year, UCF helps young people fight the disease and navigate treatment by providing access to information and other specialized programs. UCF Patient Navigation can be accessed remotely or through onsite Patient Navigators at a growing number of hospitals in the Mid-Atlantic region. UCF changes lives by creating a community of support for young adults, and their loved ones, as they fight cancer and embrace survivorship. For more information, please visit, http://www.ulmancancerfund.org.

How do I disclose fertility challenges or long term side effects from treatment?

If you are willing to disclose your cancer history, you should be willing and able to disclose late and long term effects of fertility.

When they say, “Oh my god, what does that mean for you?” You need to be able to say, “Well, I may not physically or biologically be able to carry a child, or I may need to adopt.”

This also connects back to how who you date may be influenced by that. If you wanted kids before but you are infertile now, you need to partner up with someone who is open to adoption or IVF or donors.

This conversation typically happens later in the relationship, but it’s an important piece to disclose. It’s important to know what you want and that the person you’re dating is aligned with that.

Anything that might impact day-to-day stuff—that goes back to being comfortable with your story—that disclosure and discussion needs to happen before sexual intimacy.

Some women who may have had a mastectomy at a young age have a lot of fear and anxiety around being naked in front of their partner.

In those instances, I say, “Until you are comfortable looking at your own body, don’t let in another body.”

How do I manage the physical changes from cancer (i.e. dating without hair)?

One, know that physical changes may change and nothing is permanent.

Two, before getting into a new sexual relationship, during or after the cancer experience, it is really important to understand how your body has changed—whether that’s a port scar, radiation burn, amputation, medically induced menopause, gaining or losing weight.

Being able to comfortably look at your scars, explain them, touch your scars, it may be triggering.

It’s important to know what triggers you before being physical with someone.

Physical cues may have changed. If you are comfortable with it, try to touch yourself in a sensual way and try to understand any changes in your body.

Women who are going through medically induced menopause may not get wet in the same way that they are used to.

If a woman doesn’t know that, she won’t be able to anticipate this happening with someone, use lubrication, and communicate that change to her partner.

Guys also can experience changes in their body, maybe because of steroids or anxiety. This all goes back to knowing your body and how to communicate such changes.

If you still feel uncomfortable, you need to talk to a professional. You need to work through what is creating that barrier within yourself.

Don’t tough it out and suck it up when something hurts—don’t just power through it.

If you have pain or anxiety, talk to someone about it. It is important to acknowledge it.

If you’re female, talk to your OBGYN who will coordinate with an oncologist if there’s pain. If you’re male, see your primary care physician for an assessment.

How do my partner and I navigate the changes cancer has brought? (Including infertility)

Communication is so critical. For example, if you’re told at 35 that you’re going through menopause, you typically won’t know what that means or what the physiological symptoms of menopause are. It is important for both partners to be educated on what these changes mean.

Communication is key—talk about what feels good and what doesn’t feel good.

Communication is really important. Maybe talking to a counselor or physician about those changes could help.

Navigating sexual changes comes down to talking about them.

If fertility has been affected, early and often conversations about family should happen.

Ask questions like, “Are we open to adoption? Would we want to do preservation? Would we want to go to a bank? Are there any conflicts with faith practices?”

It’s really, really important for a couple where one or both partners are religious to talk to their pastor, their rabbi, or whomever, and bring their faith community into the conversation and consider what options they might have.

It’s also really important couples keep touching, during and after treatment.

It doesn’t just mean sex. Touch is so important. That could be massaging, laying naked together, holding hands, kissing.

If all touch ceases throughout treatment, it may feel awkward to reintroduce six months later.

Touch should be an ongoing thing, even if it may need to change day-to-day based on how someone is feeling. But touch is so critical.

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